All I want for Christmas

Around Christmas time you exchange gift ideas, desires, things you need - lists essentially - of things you'd like to receive, and that's very convenient.

However, after being somewhat dissatisfied with my own list of items, I couldn't quite figure out what was missing from it that was leading me to believe it wasn't complete. It took a few days of thinking, but to be honest, all I want for christmas is the experience of opening a gift, and it being something unexpected, insightful and something that would make me smile, without having the item under the wrapping paper been hand picked by me.

I want that feeling.

Maybe I'll add that to my list.

Whatever

I want to write every day, I do. I miss the creativity, the sense of archiving my life, and just the free flowing of thoughts. But you see, when I used to write a lot, I was unemployed, and now, I have limited time to do many things. Like, I can either write, or watch the episode of the office from this week. or write, or relax and watch a movie before bed. It's always difficult to pick writing, because I don't have an audience anymore, and since it's been so long, it's hard to care.

I'd like to make it a new years resolution, or something different, a challenge, to write everyday in January, even if it's just a sentence. I will make a point to write everyday, and see if that has any effect on my habits.

Tonight I went to Michelle's work christmas party, and ate sun-dried tomato pesto with arugula and goat cheese bruschetta, roast salmon with cherry tomatoes, potato mash and carrots, and brownies and gelato for dessert.

It was also my only day off during the week, for three weeks now I've worked six days, and it's getting really old. My lack of free time is really stressing me out, my lack of free time is preventing me from planning christmas, christmas gifts, as well as unpacking and organizing my new home, planning future improvements and plans, and so much more.

I've been watching a movie almost every night as a way to cope with my stress and depression, and it does help, as I find comfort there, but now I've almost run out of movies, so that's disappointing.

I've been longing for a programming project but have yet to come up with any compelling ideas to get me going. I had one but I'm not sure it will develop into anything. I probably don't have the time for it anyway. Ah well...

I think I'll go watch a movie, then go to bed, so I can get up early and bike to work so I can start my new set of six days in a row.

It's November already?

The most significant recent development to report is that on December 1st, I will be leaving Grey St, for a much nicer, more comfortable upstairs of a house. Lots of business lately with packing, planning, packing and a bit more planning.

So I've been balancing packing and organizing with relaxing, and it's been going well so far, as things are getting done at a quick pace, and that pleases me, as the last thing I want is to be overwhelmed at the last second. Of course, I'd really like to take this opportunity to really reduce the amount of useless junk being stored for no reason, weed out the crap, reduce the clutter, feel more free, more open, less claustrophobic. It's a great feeling to reduce the amount of "baggage" you have, so I'm trying my best to do so. While I'm packing, I try to not take anything I haven't used in a year, and then when I unpack, I'll do a second pass and throw out anything I might've changed my mind on, to really get rid of a lot of stuff. It can be hard, but it's worth it.

I guess that's all I've got for right now, more to come hopefully.

The return of...

Well hello there nobody! Yes, I've realized that due to my complete lack of writing over the last… oh, couple years, there isn't really anyone left reading anything I write, however, I'd like to believe it's a mixture of growing up, losing friends and changing interests that have lead me away from writing, but I know deep down I'm a writer, and I'll always be.

I keep myself busy as ever, often, if not always sacrificing sleep to fit in time for games, TV, movies or sometimes I just resist sleep just to be awake and delay the unavoidable. I've been working Monday to Friday, with weekends off, for about the last month, and not only is that creating loving, comfortable, warm, fuzzy routine, I feel because of this, it's creating a stability and predictability that I very much appreciate, not only at home, but the routine and predictability at work is helping me hate my job less and making me feel better about what I do. I'd describe it in detail but I'm sure that wouldn't be the most exciting reading in the world.

Naturally due to my work schedule, I've been enjoying Saturday and Sunday's off. I like the fact that, at least for now, I can plan my days off ahead of time and have something to look forward to. Mainly my weekends consist of junk food, and catching up on games.

Lately I've been attempting to save money - in general - in all areas. Not really because I "need" to but because I feel some of my spending is a bit higher in areas then it needs to be. I've been trying to focus on food costs but it's harder than it seems. To compensate for less spending, I've been trying to use up things from the freezer, and also come up with creative ways to make interesting, cheap meals. It's only been a bit less than a month since I've made an effort to reduce spending, so it's difficult to tell if it's making a difference in the bigger picture.

As always I've been playing games whenever I can. There are two games I pretty much switch between at the moment, but there are a few games I picked up recently that I've been meaning to put some time into but the previously mentioned but unmade games draw me away. Virtua Tennis 2009, Halo Wars, Project Gotham Racing 4 and Guitar Hero World Tour. Those are games I've really meant to sit down and play these but… Beatles Rock Band and World of Warcraft keep me so occupied, I just never find time.

Beatles: Rock Band is so beyond expectation, it's kept being fun day after day. I just keep going back, replaying songs, trying to improve my scores. I've been enjoying the drums the most, but that's not taking anything away from guitar or bass. I'm not much of a singer, but if there were ever songs that would make me sing, it would be Beatles songs. The game really contains an indescribable magical quality; it keeps pulling me in unlike most other games.

Near the end of May, I quit World of Warcraft cold turkey when my guild fell apart, mainly due to raid attendance. I went from spending all available waking hours playing WoW to cancelling my subscription. At the time I stopped playing, my main character was the number one ranked player on the server. During my time away from the game, I got back into console games, watching shows on TV and renting movies to watch and I felt a lot more free not living under the restrictions of a raid schedule. Months later a friend and co-worker expressed interest in trying World of Warcraft, and for some reason I said I'd refer him and show him the ropes. We played together a bit and after work as a way to relax, I'd play a lower level character and it really reminded me how comforting and it is to just sit down and play for a bit. So I've been playing again but only casually, as some would put it. I don't raid or anything and I don't play my 80's, just lower level tons, sometimes with Kyle, and sometimes with Michelle.

Just this passed weekend, I went shopping with my Mom to Futureshop and I picked up a few toys for myself. I grabbed a copy of the Mac OS X Snow Leopard upgrade. Installation was fast and super easy, and the upgrades, at least so far, are enjoyable. The most noticeable are a cleaner, more refined user interface, it's faster, and fixes a few application issues. It was only $30, so I consider it well worth it.

I also picked up a 120gb Xbox 360 hard drive, which came with a transfer cable to transfer all my data from my old HD, so I did just that, and now I've got tons of free space for demos, digital distributed full games, arcade games, DLC, renting movies and more. My original hard drive (a 20gb) was completely full, and I had been forced to delete things whenever I had something new to download, so now I don't have to worry about it, and you'd be surprised how much that means to me.

I also got a new mouse, as my Logitech mouse's right click was malfunctioning and causing me distress, so I grabbed a Microsoft wireless Explorer (after man-handling all the display mice). I decided to go with a new brand because I've had three or four Logitech mice in the last two or three years, and they always break the same way, so I'm pretty unhappy with that. So far I'm very, very pleased with the new mouse, as it feels great in the hand, has a rechargeable battery and is very responsive.

The largest purchase I made while out that day would have to be the Rogers HDPVR I picked up, which lets me record shows and watch them at a later time, so I'm not confined by the TV schedule. For example, House is on at 8pm, and that's way to early for me to sit down and watch a show, so I can record it and watch it at 9pm, or 10pm, or just whenever. I also ordered the movie's package from Rogers, since now that I can record TV, being able to record any movie anytime is awesome, so I can record a few, keep them on there until I'm in the mood for a movie and then delete it afterward. We get TMN HD, MPIX HD, the on demand channels, and HBO Canada now. As an added bonus to buying the PVR, it can be hooked up to the theatre system using HDMI, which compared to the previous HD box, has much improved sound. The surround sound is really nice, even just on regular TV.

Well, I could go on, but I feel like I should bring this to an end. I actually wrote the majority of this out on paper believe it or not, because I wanted to watch a movie and this was the only way I could write and watch it at the same time. I had quite a few things I wanted to touch on when I wrote my outline for what I was going to write, but I'm just not feeling it at the moment. Thanks for reading, maybe more coming soon.

You Know

I'm really tired, so I'm not exactly sure why I'm attempting to write anything at the moment, but I'll probably be able to get a few words out before I lay down.

First, I got a copy of Batman: Arkham Asylum on the day it came out, and played it religiously whenever I had free time, and completed the game a few days ago. It was a bit short, but there is a bunch of optional content I can go back and participate in if I so feel the need. The game is just amazing, it's hard to describe what makes it as fun as it is, but it's like... metroid, meets splinter cell, meets fucking Batman.

Also, yesterday, on launch day, I got The Beatles: Rock Band (only in stock as the 'value pack', which is bullshit by the way, but I bought it anyway). There is just something magical about this game that I didn't expect to overtake me as much as it has. I knew I enjoyed the Beatles, but I figured the game would be kind of boring, or at least a bit... uhh... much, but it's so awesome. I've been playing that as much as I can, however not many people have it yet (as my first attempt, crappy drum scores are getting 6000+ on the leaderboards), I'm #1 on my friends leaderboard for every song! I have a pretty good feeling that I'm going to try to do everything in this game, bass, drums, guitar on all songs.

Worked nine hours today, have to work nine and a half hours tomorrow, then I have Saturday off, for more Beatles awesomeness.

Anger

So mad right now

Clean and Comfortable

The place is clean, I'm tired, and in the mood to veg out.

Resident Evil 5 and Dead Space here I come.

Stay Asleep

I seem to be having trouble staying awake lately... I guess it's just been awhile since I've worked straight days, all morning shifts and it's just catching up with me.

I get home from work tired, do a few things around the apartment, eat dinner, and from there, pretty much struggle to stay awake on the couch. Yesterday I fell asleep from 7pm to 10pm, today it was shorter, 7pm to 8:30ish, but falling asleep just at that time screwed me over getting the laundry out of the dryer, so now it will be in there until I get home at 4pm tomorrow, that is, if no one steals it.

All in all, today was a disappointment really, tomorrow should be better. I might be playing Starcraft, or maybe Resident Evil 5, depending on how things go.

I played a bit more Dead Space tonight though, and that was fun. I'm having more fun with the game than I expected to, and that's always a fun thing.

Work tomorrow at 7am, and then a day off, so I just have to get through tomorrow and I can have a bit of a break to relax.

I guess that's it for right now, goodnight!

These Nights

These late nights are destroying me.

The length of a day

The day is not over until I go to sleep.

It's my Birfday

It's my birthday today...

I know that if I don't write anything, I'll regret it in the future when I look back on these days.

I work all week, so I don't have anything really planned, nor can I have anything planned due to that, so I'm somewhat forced into not doing anything for my birthday.

I want to cook dinner for the family... that would be fun. I also wouldn't mind a quiet evening... I suppose that's what I'm getting tonight except I had a huge headache, couldn't eat my dinner, and then fell asleep around 6:30pm until around 9:00pm.

I hate my job, well, I hate the atmosphere/feeling of being at work. Egotistical assholes are difficult to work with.

I've been thinking about time a lot lately, how it passes, how quickly it seems to go, how life is finite. I get upset sometimes, and have to try not to think about it. I think it's always been an issue with my mind, time... but it's a bit different now, I don't know.

I'm going to watch the Jon Dore Show at 2:30am, and until then I'll watch TV or play games.

and that is my birthday. I will sleep until 10:30 or 11am, get up and eat lunch, get dressed, leave for work at 1:15pm, work until 10pm and get home around 11pm (or later depending on how busy it is), and my birthday will be over.

Words

I bought a gamecube game for $4.99 but now I can't play it because I can't find my gamecube memory card.  I used it once with my Wii to play Mario Golf, but I can't find it now.

Tomorrow I think I'm going to search.

So

Yeah I don't really write anymore.

I'm really sick... really sick.  A cold though, so... nothing serious?

Going to lay down early tonight, so, yay!

WoW

So... I'm the #1 player on alliance on my server.

hah.

http://maiev-us.warcrafter.net/?tab=players&q=alliance

I'm way sleepy

Okay I'm sleepy again.

I ordered web hosting again today.  I think I'm going to just reupload my old script and restore my old database (up to Feb 08), and use it as an archives, so it exists somewhere.  I'll probably continue to use this space for blogging.

I may get back into developing my php scripts as a hobby, but I'm unsure of whether or not I want to get back into that or not.

Sleepy

I'm sleepy, ima go to bed.

gonna buy webspace and put my old entries back online so they're available again.

Good Eats

I have a headache and it won't go away.  When I got home from work, I had a nap because being awake seemed like a poor alternative, and I woke up with an annoying headache and it's just stayed there all night, even with taking different medications to get rid of it.  How frustrating!

For some reason I have to work a long shift tomorrow even though there isn't that much stuff to do at work, which is annoying.  10.5 hour shift, the only thing going on is a reception at 8:15pm (I work 10am to 8:30pm.  I want to bring food so I don't starve, get a headache or passout, but I'm having issues thinking of things to bring.  So I think tomorrow is going to suck, but I have the day after off, and that should be nice.

Anyway, since I don't have to go in to work until 10am tomorrow, I'm staying a bit late tonight to raid, and now watch a few episodes of Good Eats, because that's comforting to me.

Careful

I'm a certified first aider, so be careful.

Three words

Three words:

Lipton. Chicken. Noodle.

Deal with it.

Heavy Eyes

I'm really tired.

I eat chips.

I take photographs.

I play WoW.

I listen to OK Computer.

Tired, Extra

I'm extra tired tonight... usually I stay up as late as possible enjoying myself because tomorrow I work late and any time spent before work is just spent being nervous and unable to enjoy myself, so I spend the night before doing fun things.  Sadly I need to give up, stop playing WoW, stop browsing the internet, and just climb under the warm covers and try to enjoy it, something which I never really do.  I don't spend much time in bed (5 hours average) so laying down and simply having time to enjoy the fact that I can just lay there is something that doesn't really happen very often.

I'm going to put on the album The Bends by Radiohead and lay down now.

Time Flies When You're...

I obviously don't know where to start since it's been such a long time since I've written anything and to be honest I don't even know if I've still got it in me.  It all seems so much clearer in my head, and when I go to make it into writing it kinda floats away, out of reach.

1up.com was bought out and most of the people I enjoy were let go, which was quite devastating to say the least, and while that may sound silly, or even stupid, the effect that the 1up podcasts has had on my life in the last two years is immeasurable.  I listen to podcasts while going to sleep, while on the bus to work and coming home from work and while I go grocery shopping.  I've grown to know these people very well, like friends I've never met and I'm very upset to know that there will never be another 1Up Yours or Ryan Scott hosted podcast... and I'm hopeful that Nick and Phil start their own site and podcast, and John Davison organizes his own '1Up Yours'.  I'll always have 'reruns', which I already listen to so much, I'm now downloading torrents of full collections of each show that users have put up really quickly before they are taken down.  Anyway, I feel for the people who suddenly lost their jobs, and I can only imagine what it must feel like to have your creative outlet taken away and all your creative plans just destroyed.

On an unrelated note, I haven't felt very good in quite awhile.  I can't get rid of a nervous feeling my in stomach, I always feel nervous... I used to be okay on weekdays and stuff but now I just feel horrible all the time.  I get pissed off at work about shit, and today I wanted to quit but I know I can't because that would be retarded.

I've been playing WoW... raiding with my guild.  It's satisfying but also stressful, at the same time it makes me feel like I'm a part of a sort of society or group of friends, and that's kind of cool.

There's more but I stopped caring now.