Ding

Ding! Level 80!

Beginning of the end

I can't decide if today was okay or not, sitting here now I kind of feel content, but it seems to be quickly fading to a more nervousness.  I worked five hours today, crazy busyness, got a ride home, came home but didn't feel very welcome, Michelle was just stomping around cleaning things, but it's done so in a way that just makes me feel like I'm like.. in the way, or like I did something wrong, or that I'm simply staying in someone elses home.  I don't really like it to be honest, I just wanted to come home to a warm, comforting place but it just wasn't.  It wasn't until after I had dinner and had my dessert that I felt like I was comfortable.

Boo.

Five more days of work at least, I'm not reaaaally looking forward to that, although most of the shifts are 7 to 3 (assuming I don't have to work late) and having a regular dinner is a nice thought.  I need to do both Christmas shopping and quite a bit of grocery shopping soon, so I need to figure that all out.

I really need a bus pass, but I just can't get a good time to go, it's really pissing me off.

I got home today around 7:45, cooked supper and ate at 8:30, drank coffee and ate desert at 9:10 or so, played WoW and watched Jon and Kate plus 8 until 10, then played Little Big Planet until 11.

Now I'm writing this and watching the Daily Show.

I'm going to have a bath now and try to calm down.  My stomach feels all nervousy.  You know how it is...

Short Days

Today felt short... I'm sitting here in the dark, with a bath running, with that nervous 'night-before-work' feeling in my stomach, and it feels like the day hasn't been long enough.  I did do quite a bit today I guess.  I woke up early (for a day off anyway.. 10am), I had lunch, I played Little Big Planet, WoW, Super Street Fighter 2 Turbo HD Remix, had a really nice dinner (grilled bbq chicken, mushroom risotto, broccoli and cauliflower).

Last night I watched Star Wars (the original) and it was enjoyable.  I hadn't seen it in a long time, so it was nice to experience again.  I want to watch the other two soon (I bought the trilogy).  Tonight I watched Hancock, and that was a pretty entertaining movie as well.

I'm going to have a bath, play a bit more WoW (I think) and then try to get a good sleep before I have to wake up and go to work.

Six days this week, no days off after today! Woo!

Hmm

I had nightmares last night, lots and lots of nightmares.  It's so easy to forget just how much of a unique feeling that is, to have a nightmare.  Such a strange type of terror that doesn't make sense but at the same time seems perfectly real.  Even after waking up, that feeling persists...

I suppose work was okay today... I worked for nine hours, it was a bit stressful, and weird.

I've just felt really weird lately, especially after last night, very much because of last night.

My mouth is sore... very bruised or whatever, and I'm contemplating having a bath to relax and then eating popcorn in bed while watching TV, and then sleeping all stretched out.

I work at 9am tomorrow, so I'll need to get up at 7:45am.

Dentist Day

Today was a horrible, brutal day.

I had a horrible, painful dentist visit.

I almost burned down the apartment, killing myself and my cats.

I melted my favorite frying pan.. like, melted the copper off, completely.  It dripped into the burner.

FUCK.

what a fucking shitty day.

my hands are sore, headache, no lunch or dinner, fucking lost my pan, almost died, and other things, just sooo much stuff that could've gone better.

I work at 12 tomorrow, so I could stay up later but I just can't do it.  I'm depressed and unhappy and while I don't really feel comfortable or safe laying down in bed, I don't feel right sitting here.

bah.

About that time

Alright so I've been playing Wrath of the Lich King almost non-stop since it came out... ya know, minus the time I'm at work, or sleeping, or cooking and eating... but seriously, it's a lot of fun.  Mainly playing my priest (level 76.9 now), Monday's are spent playing my druid with Ben (level 73 now I think) and I've got my warrior up to 70 as well.  It's very fun, very exciting...

Besides that I've been suffering through work... it's pretty bad but I suppose I'm doing okay... better than most, but I still realize it's a bad place to be, constantly being screwed over with no future for a fair employment.

I want to move... another emergency evacuation the other day because some drunk guy drove his truck into a gas meter... it's just ridiculous the type of people I live with, it's disgusting.

Dentist tomorrow again.. really not looking forward to tomorrow... work, dentist, frozen mouth.

Today

-Only got 3 hours sleep.
-Closed previous night, opened today.
-Worked late, left with Ray.
-Got home, was wet, made Meat loaf dinner.
-Called Ben, decided to go kill low level towns, brought Teri.
-Did dailies once that was boring.
-Played a tiny tiny bit of Rock Band 2 (5 songs?)
-Bath
-Typing
-Sleeping


Doesn't seem like that much for awhole day. How utterly depressing.

Difficult to Update

Since I rarely do anything but my normal routine, I find it difficult to find anything to write about besides simply copy and pasting my last entry with an updated date.

In recent times, Ben and I got to level 70, I bought Zak and Wiki, Dead Space and Dark Sector. I've been playing WoW more than the last month when I took a small break to play Brothers in Arms and Rock Band 2, so I can say that I'm pretty heavily into WoW again.

I'd like to set up a day where Michelle and I play WoW together, or maybe not even just WoW, just recreation, games, or whatever. A set day that we make time for, even sacrifice for (be it time or convenience). For the last few months, since school started, Ben and I have been getting together every single Monday at 5pm, regardless of what's going on in our lives, homework Ben has, work related tiredness I have, we just commit to it and do it, and it's really nice to have a day like that to look forward to all week, to know I'm going to have a reliable time to enjoy myself. I'd like to do something like that with Michelle, because we don't even really see each other anymore. If I'm in the bedroom playing WoW, she shuts the door and sits in the living room, and if I'm in the living room, she shuts the door and sits in the bedroom. Days she doesn't have homework, or isn't asleep at 5pm, she goes out and does things with other people, and while it may be overdramatic to say that I feel like I barely exist as anything more than the person that buys and makes food, there is a spark of truth there.

I know that regardless of how she really feels, or how busy/tired she is, reading this or if I had asked her in person, she would say yes, that she would, but given what I've said I couldn't help but feel like it's almost a bit patronizing, so it's kind of a lose lose situation. I didn't want to ask in person because I know she'd just say yeah, and then when it came time to do something she'd make it clear she would rather be sleeping or whatever. Generally speaking we have a poor history of playing World of Warcraft together, as we'll generally log on and she'll moan and groan if anything we do online will take longer than ten minutes, and that frustrates me, because I don't even notice or care about the time, I think about the fun, the team work and the bonding and all that.

Whatever, I think I've overcomplicated this already haha. I want a day, like Tuesday or something, where from 5pm to 11pm we play WoW together, like we used to before we were distant associates that used to know each other from somewhere. Where since we had a set timeframe we could do dungeons and raids that took time, but it wouldn't matter and it would be fun. Maybe I'm just dreaming of something that's impossible though. I don't even know if she likes WoW, or if it's just something she does to indulge me in what she thinks I want her to do. It's very difficult to gauge.

I'm not tired but I have to go to sleep.

Sploom

Blah!

Tuesdays always suck!

Raiding

I got back into raiding today (in WoW).

New guild, same friends, new content.. good stuff.

1100 dps most of the time..

I need to sleep though because I work early tomorrow. I'll talk more about it later.

Back

Back to work tomorrow...

I have two days off after that, so yay me!

Today was WoW Monday, and Ben and I played for most of the day, it was a lot of fun. We're both level 69 now, and just one more level to go.

I'll write more tomorrow night after work.

Strange Days

It was late last night and there are a lot of spelling errors and just general bad writing in my Brothers in Arms stuff. Sorry about that... I also forgot quite a few things I wanted to mention, generally negative stuff, because that's what stands out the most when you play a game, and while I don't want to over exaggerate it's flaws, but it's worth pointing most out I guess.

One of the things I forgot to mention, or two things actually is when the enemies pop up from cover to shoot at you, they often remain physically standing and facing your other squads, say to your far left, but their shots go towards you, so it looks like they aren't looking at you but you get hit and you can see the little bullets flying by. I thought that was kind of frustrating because I'd think I snuck up on them, and they won't be facing me, but I'll pop out of cover and their shots will magically go towards me even though they aren't facing me.

The second thing is somewhat related to the first thing: If you are out of cover, the enemies, regardless of suppression level, distance from you, angle, or what your other squads are doing, the enemies will always prefer to shoot at you, always. So, let's say you have both your squads shooting at the German squad. Shooting, shooting, shooting non-stop, you crouch and slowly sneak from behind cover to get to another piece of cover, the enemies will just turn and focus on you, even though if this was based in reality, they wouldn't know you were there because a) their being shot at, and b) you were basically sneaking. This is probably the most frustrating issue with the game, because it means you personally can't ever sneak up on enemies, because enemies will always shoot you no matter how distracted they should be. I want to be able to order my two teams to shoot at German squads and then in turn give me a chance to either run into the open and not get shot (because they should be trying to kill the ones shooting them) or give me a chance to pop out of cover for a longer amount of time and pick them off, but they'll always, always go for you.

Anyway, I guess that's all I could remember for now.

Today was a pretty weird, bad day. I didn't feel like myself, I didn't feel like I was in my own home, or like I was at my work, and it was just weird, today doesn't feel like a normal day, and I don't feel normal. Boohoo for me right? boohoo. I kept waking up around 10:00am, but I refused to wake up... it was weird, I'm not sure why I was so intent on staying asleep, but I wasn't even tired anymore. I kept trying, and trying to sleep. I'd roll over, push the cat off, fix the covers, just do anything I could think of to go to sleep. I had this pretty intense fear going on inside me at the time, and that lasted until halfway through work. I was genuinely scared, really, really nervous. That was when I knew it was going to be a bad day. I woke up and I felt like I didn't belong, like this wasn't my room, and that feeling persists even now, just less so. Maybe it's just the weird hours I worked today, or some mental thing, or both, I'm sure it'll be fixed soon. Plus I'm going through a transition right now in my routine, and that's a giant, huge deal that no one seems to understand. My routine is my life, and I'm nothing without it, but I'm no longer playing WoW with my free time, and I don't seem to have a set dinner schedule going, and now when I have free time and I don't know what to do with it, I feel a mess, like I should be doing something. It's really unsettling.

So yeah, pretty bad day. I feel strange, make no sense and all that... Gotta figure some stuff out I guess. I'm hoping everything falls back in place, and all is well soon enough.

Oh, and just a note, I'll be purchasing new webspace and domain in the next month or two, and I'll be uploading my old entries for reading, however I believe I'll continue updating this blog, and just keep the old Exrambling for historic reference. We'll see... I still need to decide if I want to start saving money for a new PC or not.

Brothers In Arms: Hell's Highway

I just completed Brothers In Arms: Hell's Highway (the third BiA installment) and I figured it would be a good time to finally let everyone know what I thought.

There are two very different ways that you could look at this game that would change how you look at it, or what you expect when you sit down and play. You can see it as the third in an ongoing, established franchise, with a set formula of design, or you can look at it as a stand alone game with no history (like if you didn't play the first two). Going into it, I was hoping that they took all the awesome from the first two games and added a bit more awesome, and at first I was disappointed because it didn't seem quite as awesome, but if I had gone in without those expectations, I think I would've been very happy with the game.

I've already gone back and replayed a few of the earlier levels, and I think I wasn't paying as much attention as I should've been the first time through because things just seem to make more sense the second time through.

Levels (or maps, or chapters) in Brothers in Arms are broken up into small skirmishes between you, your two squads and something like 3 to 6 German squads. Between you and the Germans are various obstacles (sandbags, barrels, walls) placed in specific angles. You basically begin the encounter by examining where the Germans are positioned and quickly figure out the best way to flank them without exposing yourself, set up your fire squad to supress them (and your fire squad can be either a fire team, mg team or bazooka team), then take your assault squad around and flank them or at least get them close enough to use the assault command (which lets them throw grenades and usually hit them even when they're behind cover). After that is done, you get a checkpoint, and you move onto the next encounter or story sequence. Now, in the first two games, it was much more obvious to you as to the path you need to take to flank. You could look at the map and almost right away see the cover was set up so you can set up there, and flank there, and you could quickly do it... it made me feel empowered and good at the game to do it that way. In Hell's Highway it's not as obvious, and sometimes your presented with no standard place to flank (or so it seems) and your forced to pick off the Germans, slowly, one at a time from behind cover.

The basic gameplay remains, it just feels like it went backwards instead of being more refined and polished.

The narrative is heavily reliant on whether or not you played the first two games. Gearbox assumes that everyone played them, because the story just pickes up where the last ones ended, and the characters are never introduced. Since I knew the characters well (having played the first two obsessivly) I really enjoyed the story, to the point where I'm playing through the levels again just to see the story again. It's moving and powerful... however only because I know them, I think to someone who had no idea who anyone was, wouldn't find much to connect to, but I could be wrong. There were a few issues with the over narrative of the game however, like out of nowhere they introduced this superstition storyline involving Matt's gun that had never appeared before, and they never explain it, or resolve it... it was weird. There were a few moments where I didn't quite understand where the writers were going or why, but overall it was a great continuation, and I eagerly await the inevitable sequal (hopefully very soon).

I do feel like the game was quite a bit too short, especially considering the game was in development for three years or so, I could've gone for another third in length, or even twice the length, so hopefully they come out with the next game soon, since they've got the engine and stuff down.

The Brothers in Arms games remain one of my favorite franchises, my favorite WWII games, and should be played by everyone. So.. go play!

Frustrations

Today has been, and is continuing to be a very frustrating day.

I've been wanting to play more PC games, but my Windows partition is small, about 20GB, so in order to make room I downloaded and ran a utility to resize the partition to make room for new games, but it froze during the process and I lost the partition. The files are still there, it's resized, but the file structure is messed up and it won't boot, so I no longer have a Windows partition. That means I can't reboot and play Half Life or Company of Heroes, I wanted to try Dawn of War, STALKER, Team Fortress 2... it's been upsetting to say the least.

I installed Company of Heroes on Michelle's computer (and it took all fucking day) but I'm not used to the desk, mouse or keyboard, it feels funny, and I find Vista runs like shit and I get impatient.

I decided to start saving up enough money to build a new gaming pc, but I'm still on the fence about if that's what I really want to do. I just feel defeated and upset. I've tried to relax and enjoy myself but I seriously can't seem to do it. I can't sit still...

GRR!

Berries, Headaches and Cold

I have a migraine.

I took three asprin when I got home from work and it got a tiny bit better, but I'm feeling really dizzy, cold, and like I just want to curl up in a ball.

Lately I've been spending my time home from work playing Rock Band 2 (I got the new Rock Band 2 guitar.. very nice, wireless, better tilt response and quieter buttons/strum bar), Brothers In Arms: Hell's Highway, Company of Heroes and yesterday was WoW night.

Sadly I couldn't play a lot of WoW last night because I had to work today, so I had to stop at 11:30pm instead of 3am or whatever, so that kinda sucked.

Lots of interesting things going through my head lately, lots of kinda sad, cold things too.

Migrane

I have a migraine so I don't think I can type much. If I didn't have a migraine, today would've been a good day, but instead it was a pretty bad one.

I worked 9 to 3 today because of working late the other day, it was like... my reward. I had to go downtown to grab my October bus pass, then I caught the bus home. Once home, I heated up my leftover lasagna (by way of steam) and watched Jon and Kate Plus 8. Afterwards, I had my normal dessert of a bowl of strawberries and raspberries, and played a little bit of Rock Band 2, played some WoW (finally ran Shadow Labs... I think I was overgeared... everyone on the team was level 70, but I doubled the next best dps haha). Afterwards, I played Company of Heroes and failed twice, but I know how I'm going to do it differently tomorrow to win, so that was kinda satisfying, I just wish I had time to try again, but I didn't. I then went and played a mission in Brothers in Arms: Hell's Highway, and then had a bath, and watched the Daily Show.

Now I've got the Colbert Report on, my headache is getting worse, I feel dizzy and weird, and I want to go to sleep.

Tomorrow I work 7:30 to 3:30, then I have Saturday off, so I can have some time to do stuff! I think I'm going to make some beef tenderloin tomorrow, it'll be awesome.

Quick

A real quick entry here:

I got off work early, had lasagna, played Rock Band 2 and Company of Heroes, watched Heroes, and I get to go into work for 9am tomorrow.

I could stay up later but laying in bed seems nice right now, even if I don't fall asleep right away. I'm going to put on a podcast and try to really, truly relax, ya know.. with deep breaths and all that.

Day off!

I had a pretty good day off today... I've felt better, but I was pretty relaxed for the most of it.

I played a bunch of Brothers in Arms this morning, and it was a lot of fun... great storytelling. I also played some Company of Heroes, Half-Life and Rock Band 2, and a little bit of WoW.

I don't really know what else to day right now, so...

Couch Gaming

I've spent two evenings with my two new games, Rock Band 2 and Brothers In Arms: Hell's Highway, and while I feel it's too soon to actually write a "review" or whatever, I think it's safe to give my initial impressions (knowing that they may change as time goes on). I'll start with the easier one...

Rock Band 2 is basically an expansion pack with a few added features that should have been in the original game in the first place. Same look and feel, same characters, new songs. I'm actually a bit disappointed by the lack of a real career mode like the first game had. Instead of having a Career mode, where you pick your instrument and difficulty and make your way through the increasingly difficult tiers of songs, playing each one once, one at a time, in a linear fashion, now you have to create a band that is capable of holding up to four real people, and just play that "Tour" with you as the only member. The thing is, when you switch instruments, you continue your tour from where you left off, so say I started the tour on guitar, played the first four or five songs on Expert Guitar, and then wanted to try drums. When I come on as drums, those songs will already have been completed, and my next songs will be the same as if I was still on guitar. Obviously I can go back and play songs on drums that I already completed on guitar, but it's difficult to keep track of which ones I've completed on both because the main reason for playing the game is to set high scores on each instrument, so I want to make sure I play each song on each instrument at least once. That's my main complaint so far... oh, and playing the Tour mode can get pretty boring since much like the World Tour in the first game, you play the same songs over and over again constantly, it gets really repetitive.

Brothers in Arms: Hell's Highway isn't quite working out to be what I wanted it to be. To really be specific about it I'd need more time and patience, but basically, the game is set up so you can set your fire team to surpress the enemy behind a wall or hedge, so they can't move or they'll get shot, and then you and your assault team sneak around the side, flank them and shoot them from the side where they are open, however in this game, at least so far, they seem to have forgotten to put in any way to flank the enemies, so every encounter is just a draw. They're behind a wall shooting you, and your behind a wall shooting them and it's a long and boring process of poking out and hitting the top of their head and popping back in. The entire satisfaction that the first two games brought to table was that feeling of awesomeness when you successfully flank and slaughter a bunch of nazis. Right now it just feels like Rainbow Six: World War 2, and not in a good way.

Tomorrow is WoW night, and I'm looking forward to that.

I'm going to put on Iron Chef America and lay in bed.

Games!

On my way home from work today I stopped in at Blockbuster and bought Brothers in Arms: Hell's Highway and Rock Band 2, so I've been playing them this evening.

I'm currently watching SNL but I think I'm going to go play Brothers in Arms after a bath.

I'll talk more about the games tomorrow perhaps.

Dentist Aftermath

All I'm going to say about work is that it was slow and decent, and I didn't have any problems.

I had a dentist appointment at 4pm, and my Mom drove and picked me up at work at 3:30 and drove me there (I had her buy me a PC lasagna because that's what I eat when I feel sad) and we got there around 4pm.

I'm pretty good at the appointments now... I don't really get scared or uncomfortable, but today's was especially painful and not very comfortable. Even after three freezing needles, I could still feel pretty intense pain during drilling, but he had to finish it, so I just suffered through it. Afterward, it was throbbing and painful, and even after taking a T3 it kept on going.

I've taken a total of three T3s tonight, and it feels okay now. I can't touch the area, or move my lip to the point where it may use those specific muscles, but I'm not in pain just sitting here.

I did play a bit of WoW this evening, but I also sat down and played Super Mario Galaxy finally, I managed to get three stars, which is about doubling my progress (sad, I know). Tomorrow I plan to play some Half Life 2 and Mario Galaxy, and probably some WoW, although I'm not really sure what I want to do.

I'm really tired... like reeeally tired, and it's only 12:10am, I usually go to sleep later than this on a day where I have to work the next day, so I feel like it's wasting time, but I guess today was especially traumatic, so maybe I should just give in and go to sleep.

Oh yeah, I'm really thirsty.

A Longing

I've been wanting to play Super Mario Galaxy lately (and a few other things) but I find myself always sitting down and playing WoW, even when I feel like I want to play something else.

I think that might be a kind of bad thing...

I'm off to bed, work tomorrow and then a dentist appointment right after work, then 50/50 chance of having Thursday off. It could be a day off, or it could be a first aid class thing at work where I don't have to actually work, but can't really play games so it's not that cool.

Wish I didn't have to sleep yet, I could go play Super Mario Galaxy! Bah...

It's a day off!

Work went well yesterday as it was a pretty relaxed day, so I wasn't stressed out or upset or anything. It went by quickly, and there isn't really anything noteworthy to mention.

I spent the night playing WoW with Ben as we always do on Monday. We did a bunch of quests in Terokkar, and Michelle, Ben and I three manned Mana Tombs up to the first boss, then invited two others to come and dps for us for the rest of the place. We ended up getting up a full level, Ben respecced Destruction and I think we made a good amount of progress.

This morning the WoW servers are down for maintenance so I'm forced to do other things with my time. I played some Geometry Wars 2 and Half Life 2, and a tiny bit of Bioshock (on hard) and now I'm just listening to 1Up FM and waiting a few minutes to go on and play WoW.

Work Tomorrow

I feel how I always feel the night before I have to go to work after having a day off. I played WoW, woke up late, was really lazy, and now my heart is pounding, my stomach feels like it's going to explode and I really don't want to go to sleep because that makes work come faster.

I've been thinking a lot about what's been making me uncomfortable... uncomfortable seems to be the best word to describe the feeling, and I think I really need to force myself to deal with these things, to take action instead of hoping it'll stop bothering me. It's affecting me, and perhaps adding to my general anxiety that I feel on a day to day basis.

I woke up late tonight, so I'm not really tired. I should go to sleep, but I can't, so I won't. I'll be really tired tomorrow, and maybe nap before my WoW night with Ben. I have to wake up at 6:15, so if I went to bed at 1am that's 5.25 hours of sleep, or 2am would be 4.25 hours... both I could deal with I guess.

It's Late

It's time for bed, but I thought I'd do a quick summary of the day.

I woke up this morning to find out there was nothing to eat for breakfast, so I pretty much went the entire day (5:40am to 4:30pm) without eating anything. I got a really bad migrane (jeeze, I wonder why), and it was so bad that I took a couple tylenol 3's after eating dinner and fell asleep for a long while.

I got up around 8:30 I think, right around when Michelle got home, and I watched the season premier of The 1Up Show and then played WoW for a bit, now Iron Chef America is over and it's time for me to get into bed.

Tomorrow is a 9 to 5 shift and then I get Sunday off, so hopefully it'll be a good day, and if it's not, who gives a shit because I don't have to deal with it until Monday!

Goodbye GFW

Over the last two and a half years I've been listening to the 1Up Network's series of podcasts, 1Up Yours, GFW Radio, EGM Live/1Up FM, Retronauts, Legendary Thread and the 1Up Show, and I've grown quite attatched to the writers, editors and staff there, and today was the very last GFW Radio, my favorite podcast, and it's actually pretty upsetting. Every week I look forward to Wednesday night and hit refresh waiting for the podcast to download, and on my way to and from work I usually listen to an episode, and I know the guys on the podcast better than a lot of people I know in real life, so they feel like friends in a weird way.


Jeff has decided to move on after 17 years and has moved to EA to work on the Sims brand, and Shawn has decided to begin work at 2K Boston with Ken Levine (Bioshock). Earlier this year, Sean Malloy left GFW to work at Blizzard on WoW, so... now that Ryan is the only one left (not to discount Chuf Love or Max Chill) I can see why the podcast has to end, but it still makes me sad. Think of it like how you feel when a tv series you've watched for years has come to an end, it's that same feeling.

It will be missed, and I'll be listening to "reruns" for a long time to come for sure.

Today was a day off, and I of course played WoW a lot. Michelle and I rarely do anything together anymore at all, so I went out of my way to create a situation where I could get her to do something by playing my mage who is on a level near one of her characters, so I got her to come on and we played together for a bit, and the rest of the time I played my hunter. It was a lot of fun, and I really, really wish I didn't work tomorrow.

Tonight is one of those nights where I feel really nervous and shitty about having to go to work tomorrow. The bad shit that went down inside me last work day is still there and I just hate that place right now. That place is fucked up and I deserve way better, but I'm too scared to look.

So I'll spend the rest of the night nervous and tapping my leg uncontrollably, maybe have a bath... I woke up later today, like around 10:30am, but I have to wake up at 5:40am, so I really should be in bed by around 11:30, and asleep by 12, but we'll see if that actually happens.

I made a badass stir-fry for dinner, and... yeah, that's about it.

Addicted to Good Food

Another weird/good/angry day at work, I'm just going to try to forget that place exists for now so...

On my way home from work I had to stop at the grocery store, as I always do when I have a day off the next day, you know, to stock up on chips, pop, make sure I have a lunch and dinner for the next day, so that I can stay in my pijamas and never leave the house.

It's important to understand that the appearance of beef tenderloin in Value-mart is a very rare thing, and one should act when given the opprotunity. I saw they had about three or four beef tenderloin steaks, so I just couldn't resist. I picked one up, grabbed a couple portabello mushrooms, and the other stuff I came for and went home. So I had a great dinner of tenderloin, green and yellow beans, broccoli, mushrooms and onions on top, and mashed potatoes.

Now I'm eating dessert, strawberries and raspberries and a blueberry yogurt. Mark just got here but I can't really hang out with him for the whole night since I've made plans already! Nerdy ones but still.

For the history books

This is mainly for Michelle to see, because I doubt she frequents the 1up editors blogs.

http://www.1up.com/do/blogEntry?bId=8874678&publicUserId=4561231

Good Morning

I've got a day off today, that's why it's 11:35am and I'm just crawling out of my warm, grey cat filled bed. I figured now would be a good time to write something, you know, before getting settled into my day of relaxing and doing nothing (in a good way).

Writing here is somewhat bittersweet for a few reasons, mainly because I know that no one is going to see it, maybe just Michelle and myself, but I know that deep down the reason I've been writing all these years was just for my own personal record keeping, so in twenty years I can look back and see how much of a pussy I was, and so with that in mind I can keep writing and not really mind that no one is going to see it.

I know that if anyone does eventually come here they're going to be really lost as to what exactly I'm up to in my life, as I've not really communicated with anyone for about a year thanks to having a full time job and how tiring that can be, but instead of writing about the last year, I'll just pick up from like... yesterday, that should do. I mean it would just take so much effort to catch everyone up on a year of.. oh wait, I can do it. I went to work, came home and played games. There we go, we're caught up.

Yesterday I worked at 7:00am to 3:00pm, so I woke up at 5;40am and had my normal breakfast of a glass of juice and two pieces of toast with apple butter, got dressed and watched a few minutes of Breakfast Television, and got my backpack ready by putting my broken piece of crap Logitech Revolution mouse in it. At 6:15 I left and walked to the bus stop at Wellington and Grey. While standing at the bus stop, I realized I had forgotten the backpack with the mouse I was returning after work, and I wasn't going to put it off another day, so I literally sprinted back to my house as fast as I could, ran inside, grabbed it, and sprinted back. The funny part is, I still missed the bus, so I could have casually walked. Anyway, it was a really big mistake to run that fast, for whatever reason, I'm not sure if it was because of how early it was, how much I had eaten or just how horribly out of shape I was, running that fast made me almost throw up, I couldn't breath and it just sucked. The majority of the morning at work I just felt like I was going to throw up... big mistake.

I'm not sure if I really have anything to say about what I did at work... it was work. I was in a pretty bad mood about everything that's been going on, and I've just found myself thinking about sad or upsetting things lately even though I don't want to. I ended up punching the wall and cutting my hand at work, but don't tell anyone.

After work I caught the bus going north to Masonville and went to Best Buy to exchange my mouse for a second time. I made the nice customer service girl test out the new mouse on a computer behind her before I would take it, and she was nice about it. The mouse moved, so that was an improvement on the one I currently had, so I took it and thanked her and went home. I was off work at 3:15pm but didn't get home until 4:30pm or something, so that kinda bugged me, not a lot, but I just value my time away from work and it seemed like an unneccessary waste of time... fuck you Logitech!

Once home I cooked myself and Michelle dinner... grilled chicken breast on a croissant, with a side of green olives, pickles and cottage cheese (all seperate thank you very much). It's a pretty standard dinner that I make myself, it's quick and easy and tastes great. As per normal, I watched Jon and Kate plus 8 while eating (the best show on tv) and it was nice to sit down and not feel like death for awhile.

Monday night is the designated World of Warcraft night with Ben, since he's back in school and needs to.. you know, succeed, World of Warcraft and it's unending addictive nature needs to take somewhat of a backseat, so we play every Monday, and then any day where he's completely caught up and sick of studying. So after dinner I gave him a call and we hopped on Ventrillo and played WoW all evening, but like a lot of the time, WoW is more like something we do in the background and what we're really doing is discussing space time, and math problems. In WoW, our characters are: Panello, my level 65 Restoration Druid, and Defiantbliss, Ben's level 65 Demonology Warlock. For about three hours we just did the same "kill so and so Naga" over and over to get me reverred with Sporregar, so we barely paid attention to the game and just talked about random human mysteries. Around 9:30, Michelle came on and we three manned a five man instance Slave Pens in order to get a quest completed. We had no problems, and doing those dungeons with just us three is one of the most fun things I do in WoW. The amount of thinking, effort and strategy you need, as well as teamwork is just so different to everything else, it's a lot of fun. That took us to about 10:30pm or something, and Michelle went to bed, and Ben and I did a few quests in Terokkar before we were both pretty tired and Ben went to bed around 12:30am or so. I pretty much stopped at that time too, finding myself quite tired having got up at 5:40am and running a fucking olympic event on the way to the bus, so I got into my pijamas and went to bed, and I fell asleep almost instantly.

Today I'll probably play as many games as I can, eat a lazy and horrible but awesome lunch, and maybe make a stirfry for dinner, and just enjoy not being at work as best I can.

It'll be a good day.

Very Tired

I'm very tired now as it's the end of my day... today ended on a good note, so that's very nice. I didn't have the best day at work, and I had to go out of my way to Best Buy after work so that made me get home over an hour later than I had to, but I ended up getting a mouse that's worked all night (so far) and I played WoW with Ben for our weekly session.

Thought I'd update, even if it's just a small one.

I may or may not write another tomorrow! It is my day off after all.

Deep Breath

I haven't felt like this in years... it's weird, and I don't like it one bit. I feel heavy, it's difficult to breath, and I can't concentrate on anything. My thoughts keep floating back to sad or upsetting things, and I can't seem to get away from it.

I've been suffering from a string of bad luck it seems, buying a mouse, it not working, returning it, getting a new one, it not working, losing my webspace (fucking pricks), having to use a peice of shit mouse that fucks up every five seconds (it seriously drives me crazy).

I just need to take a deep breath and feel better, but it's difficult.

Ugh, shoot me in the face.

So... I'm in a horrible mood, I don't want to write, and want to be left alone.

This seems to be my new home online... never thought it would happen, but yeah, I'm too lazy and drained and not creative enough to figure out an alternative.

I didn't lose all my writing or anything, it's all on my harddrive, but I've lost the webspace because of some huge fucking douche bag working at the webspace company. I asked for information on where I would go to cancel my account and he just cancelled it and was pretty fucking rude about it.